More Than a Tennis Tip

Yesterday I ventured back onto the tennis court after a lengthy and self-imposed hiatus from the game. I was motivated not so much by the love of the game but along the lines of avoiding humiliation. The mixed doubles season begins in two weeks and I will be playing against opponents at least half my age who will be able to outrun, outhit and outdrink me. (A lot of the younger guys show up with a hangover)

I thought I would get out there to wake up the body, see what muscle memory I still have and collect a few solid tips to get my legs, arms, and other body parts all going in the same direction. What I got instead was an awakening of the mind and a tip way too good to keep to myself. The question I was asked in regards to my tennis strokes and mental mindset on the court was: Are you judging (saying critical things about one's strokes,learning ability, skill level, emotional fortitude, etc) or diagnosing?

He was asking me about my thoughts while playing tennis, but I took it straight to my life. I was busted! Totally called out on that one. The correct answer is diagnosing (and was not the one I gave.)

Diagnosing - an impartial, objective, nonemotional evaluation leading to a more productive, thoughtful and considerate response. Unlike judging which creates disappointment, resentment and resistance towards myself or from those I judge.

What I took away from that lesson was if you want to get better at anything whether it is your tennis game or the true game of love that we play with everyone in our lives, do more diagnosing and less judging.

Thank you to Michael, from Brookfield Country Club, for giving me one of the best tennis lessons of my life.